Category: Uncategorized

The Act of Being Engaged: Day 8

Day 8 was an interesting day. Another one of my coworkers found out that I am getting married, and she was very surprised. This coworker is a lady that is from the old school, so the next comment she made to me was; “I believe in  death do us part so if I get you a wedding gift I don’t want you to return it to me.” I started laughing, and then she told me that I better learn how to cook for that man. Then I told her that my mother was no longer living, so I will not be able to get her recipes. I then told her that I can get the recipes from my cousin. She then told me that I better get on that.

Then on my way home I was listening to Jamie Fox’s song, I Wish You Were Here. I then started to think about all of the things my mother has missed: my graduation from chiropractic school, my graduation from Joseph Business School, and now my wedding ceremony. I then got sad because I realized that she has missed and will miss every important part of my adult life. Maybe that is way I am not that excited about this milestone because me very best friend will not be here to see it. I miss her so much, that sometimes I think that I just don’t do stuff because I miss her. I really do miss her and I really wish she was here.

That was day 8, so let me know what you think. Until next time, I am out.

The Act of Being Engaged: Day 9

I didn’t take the watch from my co-worker because it didn’t fit around my wrist. So, at Day 9 I am still looking for something borrowed and new. I am also amazed that someone wants to marry me. I think that it is awesome and amazing that God made me for Lee and Lee for me. You know that old saying, that there is someone for everyone, well that statement is true. Because there is someone for us all; we just have to be patient. We also have to learn how to truly love ourselves.  God loves both of us (Lee and myself) so much that He made us for each other. As the day gets closer, I am realizing that I will soon be a wife. I will soon have a partner for life.

But as nice as that sounds, I am wondering if it is normal to be scared? Let me hear what you have to say as I continue to count down to the big day.

The Act of Being Engaged: Day 11

Well, I have 11 more days to go until I am Dr. Jeanine Smith. And you guys might want to know am I getting cold feet yet, and the answer is no. I am getting excited. So, what happened on day 11? Well, some of my coworkers were trying to give me ideas on what I can get for something borrowed and something new. Some of the suggestions that were given to me were a watch and some earrings, but I have a watch and earrings. So, I showed my coworkers my watch, and they all felt that I needed a fancier watch. So, they decided to bring in their watches so I could pick form them and borrow it. Isn’t that nice. My coworkers care that much about me that they want me to wear their watch.

I feel so special and loved, some of my own family members don’t care that much. Even if I don’t pick one of the watches they show me, I am so thankful to have coworkers like them. Well, continue to follow me on the count down to my big day. See if I actually use the watch or not. See you tomorrow.

Living A Positive Life: The Act Of Being Engaged: The Count Down To The We…

Living A Positive Life: The Act Of Being Engaged: The Count Down To The We…: “Well, as you can tell from the title of this post I am now counting down the days of my engagement; 12 more days until I am Dr. Jeanine Smit…”

The Act Of Being Engaged: The Count Down To The Wedding Day (12 Days and Counting)

Well, as you can tell from the title of this post I am now counting down the days of my engagement; 12 more days until I am Dr. Jeanine Smith.  During the period of my engagement I have learned a lot about myself, my husband-to-be, and marriage as a whole. This period has been stressful, but I have so enjoyed the courtship period (the boyfriend and girlfriend stage); but I must say I am looking forward to our next phase. I won’t go into a long drawn out lesson of how I was feeling, how he was feeling, or how others around us felt; but I will say that communication is indeed to most important part of any relationship. Out of everything that I have experienced during this phase of my life, (sex or no sex, spending time or not, making dinner for him or not, etc.) communication was and will continue to be the top priority of the relationship. Without steady communication all the other elements of the relationship will fall to the wayside.

So, I would like to just updated you on what I have accomplished concerning the details of our upcoming big day. If you all don’t know, Lee and I will be getting married on June 24, 2011 at 12:30pm. The ceremony will be small and intimate, nevertheless planning it was still a little stressful. Anyway, I have my dress, shoes, jewelry, hair accessories, the cake, the restaurant venue, his suit, his shoes, his wedding gift, the favors, and the place where the ceremony will take place. I also have our wine glasses and cake cutter and server. So, I have done a lot in a short time. But I still need make-up, whitening stripes for my teeth, some sexy sleepwear, and my nails need to be done. I have my something old, and blue. I don’t have something borrowed or new yet. We also have our rings and they are so beautiful.

So, please join me on my count down to Jeanine and Lee’s Big Day. The theme of our day is “Two Becoming One.” And I believe that it is a fitting theme, because God designed us the become on with our mates. However, we must allow the transition to take place through God being the head and communicating with each other. Let’s count down together. So, if you have any advise or last minute suggestions please let me know. The count down has began-12 days to go.

Being Ashamed And Why We Must Learn How To Let It Go: Part 2

The last we met I was discussing some of the things that I feel ashamed about and why I am learning to let it go, forgive myself, and move forward. During my daily readings of God’s word, I am realizing that shame is a tool of the enemy to cause people to remain stuck in a situation that is causing the person to feel hopeless. The enemy does not want any of us to realize who we are or the purpose that God has for our lives. And that is what I believe has kept me in the situation that I am in. Let me be clear, the Lord has blessed me and protected for a lot of issues that could have occurred. But the situation that I am in now is not the best that God has for me, and I am not walking in my calling or purpose that God has for me. So, with all that being stated the next topic of discussion is my house. I don’t really like to have company over because I feel that my house is not as presentable as it should be. I grew up in a house that was always presentable and decorated so nicely, but it was simple. I grew up with a mother who was a very clean person, therefore, her house was very clean. She worked very hard to make sure that her home was a home and that it was always presentable. So, I feel that I have some big shoes to fill and I don’t think that I am half way filling them. My house is not dirty or messes, but I just feel like it could look better. But I am not sure how to get it to look like the way I think it should look.

So, someone might ask, how do I think it should like? That is a good question, and I would have to say that I think it should look homey and comfortable. The home should be a place of clam and peace, a place where you can go to get away from the rough world and just be. My house is homey, and it can be comfortable at times, but as far as that other factors, I believe that I don’t have it down pack yet. So, let me be a little more transparent. My house has a lot of clutter in it because I don’t have a lot of space. I have a lot of books and clothes and stuff. I need a new bed because the one that I currently have is just about to give out, but on a good note I have a bed and I have a roof over my head. Some people don’t even have a place to lay their heads at night. Like I stated earlier, the situation that I am in is just not God’s best for me.

So, shame has crept into my life and that shame has caused me to isolate myself from people that love and care about me. But God’s word says that the last shall be the first, and that I am the head and not the tail. So, I know that the situation that I am in is an opportunity for me to learn and grow, and allow God to prepare me for my calling and His best. How can I take care of a bigger house if I can’t take care of the current house that I have now. So, I must forgive myself for falling short in some areas concerning my house and learn how to be grateful for what God has given me thus far. Being grateful is the way you can ensure that shame does not come into your life, and it will open up your heart to receive more.

So, with all that being stated, I have realized that my house is my house and it is only as comfortable as I make it. Yeah, I can make some improvements on it, and give some stuff away; but at the end of the day this is the house that the Lord has blessed me with and I is my job to watch over it in the best way that I can. So, I am learning to just let it go, be grateful, stay prayerful, and God will  do the rest. Because the best is yet to come. I hope this has inspired you to just let whatever may be causing you shame go; just let it go. Because being ashamed causes you to miss out on the best that God has for you. Let me know what you think or what has caused you shame; together we can make a change and cause a change.

Being Ashamed and Why We Must Learn How to Let it Go

I am back, as it has been a long time since I last updated my site, but I am back with more live lessons that I have learned and I am ready to share them with the world. So, lets get right into my new topic, Being ashamed. I have found myself being ashamed of numerous amount of things in my life, and I also learned that because of this shame I am holding myself back from achieving so many things. It might have something to with fear. I think that if people found out about some of my issues that they might not want to associate with me anymore. I am also think that I am not worthy of the blessings that God has for me because of these issues. However, as I study the word of God, I am beginning to understand where this fear (the shame) comes from, and why I must just let it go.

I am engaged to be married, and if any of you have ever planned a wedding, or anything resembling a wedding, then you know just how stressful it can be and how expensive it can be. So, it has been extremely challenging for me and my hubby-to-be to make ends meet; but even before we got engaged we struggled financially. God’s word says that I am rich, and that I am the head and not the tail; but in the natural I am in debt and I can barley paid for gas and food. Because I can barley paid for some of the basics I am ashamed and then I don’t feel worthy of the blessings that God has promised me. I have never shared this with anyone; because I have wrote it out plainly, I can see how I am allowing the devil to stop me from moving forward. Also, the above statement is freeing because I can now began to forgive myself, as God has already forgiven because I have already asked forgiveness in Jesus name. But I have not been able to forgive myself and that is why the devil keeps on bringing it up and shame keeps coming into my life. That shame has stopped me from doing what the Lord has called me to do. God’s word says that I am the head and not the tail, I am above only and not beneath, I am rich because Jesus became poor. The Lord also promised that He is able to provide for me, which will enable me to support myself (2 Corinthians 9:8); stated in my own wording but I advise everyone to read it. The shame that the enemy is putting on me is causing my faith to shrink, and that is what the devil wants. Without faith, I can not do anything and the Lord can’t bless me and then I will be stuck in my situation. However, this is not the purpose that God has for me, and because I am studying the word of God, my spirit keeps reminding me of that, but my spirit is also telling me to let it go, forgive myself, and learn from my mistakes and grow stronger, and continue to move forward. I have to stop looking back to over analyzing my past mistakes; which continues to cause me to feel sad and shame.

So, I am telling you all this because we all go through stuff like this and even the strongest person we know has a weak moment. But we all must study to show ourselves improved, because that it the only way that the word is going to get into our hearts to grow fruit. The promises of God are real and true, and He desires us all to live the life that He has called us to live. We can’t continue to allow shame to come into our lives and cause us to stop moving forward. Let’s learn together how to let it go, to forgive our self. Because we all fall down sometimes, but we can get back up In Jesus Name. Please remember that you are not the only person who has problems, we all have issues, but the different between the winners and the losers is that the losers quit and the winners keep moving in spite of failures (they learn from their failures).

So, in closing I pray that we all receive Gods forgiveness and that we all truly forgive ourselves for past failures, learn from them, and continue to move forward. In Jesus, we will no longer be ashamed of those past failures or short comings, but we will allow them to teach us. No more shame, in Jesus Name, Amen.

Follow me on my journey of forgiveness and let me know what you think. Until next stay encouraged.

Forgiveness

Hey All,
When we last talked I was explaining how important it is for us to forgive the people that have hurt us. Well, I am finding out that it is not a feeling that you have, but it is a choice you make. I am now searching my bible for scriptures on why I must forgive, and what I have found out is that it’s a law from God that He places in our hearts to protect us. Once I decided to truly follow God, I decided that I just can’t pick and choose what I wanted to follow I had to follow His word. I chose to do that because God so loved me that He gave His only son for me, and He forgave me for my sins. Forgiveness is a law that protects you and me, it allows us to move forward in life, and it allows us to whole heartily receive the promises that God has for us. Once you really truly forgive someone it amazing what will open up for you. So, let all chose to forgive and not be offended. Because God has something special He wants to do with you and for you, but your heart has to be right. Please, don’t take my word for it try Him and see if He will not open up the window from heaven and pour out blessings that you can’t imagine. Try Him…..
Until we met agian, I am out. The Blessed One……

Intro To Being Positive: Forgiveness

Hi guy,
This is my first time blogging, so please bare with me. I have a lot to say about how we as a people can change this world. I don’t think that we can change the world through fighting, complaining, or blaming other people for or situations. But I do think we can change the world one person at a time, and that person that we can change is ourselves. I have learned that by being negative and never excepting good things to happen to me that I always ended up with exactly what I thought I would end up with. This way of thinking was something that was taught to me by my mother. She was a single mother that had to raise two little girls, and it always seemed like things never went her way. As I grew up my mother became my best friend and we talked about everything, from relationships, to church, to how she viewed life; and she passed her views on to me. I grew up thinking that as long as I don’t except good things to happen to me that when it didn’t happen I won’t be hurt. But little did I know that by me thinking this way I was actually sowing that negative seed in my life, and the only thing I could reap was negativity. I don’t want you to think that my life was just terrible, because it wasn’t. I had a wonderful childhood, and a great mother. She was my role model. I looked up to her and I wanted to be just like her, but not just like her. I moved out and went to graduate school in Georgia, and this is when I learned that my thinking and outlook of the world was kind of off. I met someone who was very spiritual and positive. Good things always seemed to happen to her, even when it wasn’t so good, she still ended up on top. I would always ask her how she could be so happy and joyful all the time. I really thought something was wrong with her, people can’t just be like that for real. She explained to me that the God she serves enables her too be happy, joyful, and positive all the time. I wanted what she had, but God has a purpose for us all, and when I met that person; who is now a close friend, I was on the path to fully accept God in my heart and life. All throughout school my friends told me that I was too negative and that no one whats to be around someone with a negative attitude. It was a mind thing and God placed all of those people, and every situation in my life to draw me closer to Him and to fully understand what He wants and has for me. However, if I stayed negative I would not have been able to fully accept God. I truly became a child of God on May 5, 2005, and this was the beginning of my life. I still have difficult situations that I go through, but now I understand that God is with me and He is working it out for my good. My job during the situation is to give it to God, praise and worship Him, and believe that He is working it out on my behalf and I will come out on top. God wants to bless each and everyone one of us, but in order for you to receive what He has for you, you have to first let go of your past, and believe that you have a purposes no matter were you came from. In order to let go of the pass, we have to forgive the people who hurt us along the way. We have to forgive the people who said that we would never do or be anything in life (even if it was our parents). Most importantly, we have to forgive ourselves and let go of the past. This is the only way we can move forward and fully accept what God has for us. In order to forgive you have to be honest with yourself. You have to look inside your self and see what God saw before Jesus washed us clean with His blood, and you have to be able to forgive just like God forgave us. So, I gave you guys a short story about me and where I came from and where I am now in my life. I am on a journey to becoming the woman that God wants me to be. The first step is to receive God into your life by believing that He is your Lord and Savior. The next step is to forgive everyone, thing, and most of all yourself for all the bad, hurtful, and shameful things that has happened to you. God has already forgiven us, now we need to forgive. So, lets go on the journey together; the journey of forgiving. I will be updating my site once a week with different situations that I had to, and still have to, forgive someone or myself. God is still working on me and He is still working on you, maybe we can learn together and in the process change the world one person at a time. Until next time, remember that being happy and joyful is a choice, a choice that God can make easy for you to choice. See you and stay positive.