Okay guys, I am back with more revelation about myself that has helped me to grow and shine just a little bit brighter. But guys, for me this one new truth was a very painful one and yet it explained so much about why I do the things I do in this world.
This new awareness explains why I struggle with change, and why I am the first person to think an relationship is over when a disagreement occurs. This new truth about me explains why I push people away, and I never feel totally 100% secure in any of the relationship I am in. I always have to control everything.
Hey it is guys, I am now aware and acknowledge that I have abandonment issues.
Some of you maybe wondering how did I come to this new awareness, and the answer is much self reflection. I had to get still and silent and go within to really see just how I am showing up in this world. And for so many years my fear of losing people was creating just that, me losing people. But this fear within me, that I am now aware of, was developed during my childhood. Some of you maybe able to relate to my story of not being raised by your father but being raised by a strong independent, no nonsense mother. So, the first man that I was suppose to teach my about a man did not choose me. In fact, he denied me and my sister. And his of me denial placed a belief in my that I was not go enough. But I tried everyday of my life to get him to see me, to want to be my daddy. How many of you know that this was a set up for insecurity, sacrificing too much, and lying (people-pleasing).
Now fast-forward to 2021, I don’t trust anyone and I believe that I must control every aspect of the relationship, and I need constant validation and reassurance that people love me. And these are all signs of abandonment issues.
Once I became aware of the belief, I then had to acknowledge it and by acknowledge this belief I was now able to accept it as a belief that is no longer serving me. Now for the actions I took, and continue to take to transform that belief that I have carried with me for so many years.
- I had to accept responsible for my own healing because the people that broke me are not responsible for healing me. So, in order for me to start to heal and transform this belief I could not sit around a wait for an apology or explanation of why.
- By faith, I forgave my father for not being able to give me the love that I needed. Guys, because the truth is he did not know how to do it – so he didn’t do.
- I began working on identifying the constant thoughts that pop in my head that are not serving me, and I begin to replace them with thought that will serve me.
- I now honor my thoughts instead of resisting them, I process them through. I have stop pretending that I am not angry that my father denied me. I stop pretending that I am not sad that I did not get to experience having a daddy in my life.
- I set healthy boundaries for myself so I could stop people please and start trusting people.
- And I am more vulnerable and open with myself.
- I practice self-care.
- And I make an effort to stay connected to the people I love and care about, even when I feel scared or anxious.
Honestly guys, our healing journeys will always start with a choice. I was tired of feeling sad and alone all the time. I was tired of suffering, so I chose to figure out why. And once I made that choice my healing journey started. Guys, when will you make that choice to start your journey? I hope this post has helped you to get clear on what you want and to know that you are not alone in this world. By making a choice to show up for yourself in spite of it all, your healing journey can start too. And if need help, I am here and I can help.
Let me know if this helped you and just how it helped you by leaving a comment. If you want to learn more on just how I can help you and more about the Confidence Mindset Program, please go to the home page and schedule a free consultation call today.
Until next time remember that Life Is But A Journey…. Bye guys…