Author: Jeanine Smith

My Weight Loss Journey: Day 28

So guys, the last time we met I told you that I met my first small personal goal of losing 5lbs. And because of that I was able to reward myself with a new pair of workout shoes. So, this weekend I went out and brought me some new shoes.

I really like the color; if you did not know blue is my favorite color, and they are very comfortable. Now I am working on my next small personal goal, which is to lose 5% of my body weight (12.5lbs). And I have already gotten off to a bumpy start. This past Friday I was not felling well and I did not work out, nor was I able to eat anything. I just felt really weak, so I laid in bed all day and drank tea. Because I wasn’t feeling well yesterday I did not go to my Weight Watcher’s meeting, I slept in and tried to get some rest. And by me resting up I felt better that evening so I went to workout. Every health professional and fitness professional will tell you that sleep is important for losing weight, as well as maintaining a healthy weight; so I think the reason that I did not feel well was because I was not getting enough sleep. I am constantly working, taking care of my son and my house, and making attempts to take care of my husband, while studying for my upcoming board exams and making time to work out, among other matters that I deal with daily. I guess my body just needed me to take some time for me, and not feel guilty for taking the time needed. Feeling guilty is another story that I might get into at a different time, but today I want to express to everyone that we all need time for ourselves, time to just be, time to just relax, time to breath; and you should not feel bad about it. Because if you don’t take care of you who will?

Before I end this post I want to say that in spite of me not feeling well, I still got a chance to celebrate me meeting my first personal goal which motivated me and pushed me to continue despite me not feeling 100%. So, I am excited about what is yet to come for me on this journey. I have already learned so much about myself and some reasons way I continue to gain weight, but God has more things to show me. So, stay tune because there is more to come….

My Weight Loss Journey: Day 22

Well guys I have been on my journey for 1 month now, and I must say that joining Weight Watchers was a great idea. On my last weight in, which was yesterday, I lost another 2 lbs which gave me a total of 5.2 lbs lost. I was so happy that I accomplished my first small weight lost goal, and I did it eating the food that I like, that I gained more motivation to continue the journey. The reason that  I am writing this blog is not to just focus on the highs of the journey, but to tell my truth about my weight in hopes that I can help somebody while I am on my journey. So, the question you all should ask me is am I learning from the jourmey, because when on a journey you should be learning something? Great question, and my answer to the question would be yes; I have learned two very important things. 1.) I have learned that when I am stress that I want to eat so I can feel better, and the foods I want to eat are sweet (cake, cookies, ice cream, chocolate, etc.), and 2.) I have to learn self control and in order to learn self control I must listen to my body.
On day 9 of this journey I was face with some personal challenges that caused me to be stressed. And because I was stressed I did not want to workout and I could not focus on counting points because all  could think about was the issue at hand. On day 9 is when I learned that stress was a negative trigger for me, and that in order for me to loss the weight and keep it off I have to learn how to handle my stress. So, day 9 was a very important day for me, because it opened my eyes to see some of my shortcomings as it concerns my weight.  On day 10 of this journey I found myself not eating what I needed to eat which resulted in me getting a headache, which caused me to just eat so my headache could go away. This to me was a lack of self control. I did not control my schedule to ensure that I ate something, which caused me not to eat throughout the day, which caused me int he end to just eat. This is a cycle that I have noticed myself doing since I have been on Weight Watchers. So, when you hear health professional, fitness professionals, and people in general say that losing weight is all in the person’s mind they are absolutely correct. Because as you can see from day 1 up until now I have talked about what was going on in my mind which caused me to acted in a negative manner, which in turn effects my weight.
The bible tells us that as a man thinks so is he, which means what I think about will come true. So, if I think negatively negative things will happen to me. But when I begin to focus on positive things, positive things will happen to me. What I am learning thus for on this journey is that I have to get my mind right also. I can loss all the weight I want but if I don’t see myself as God sees me then the weight will come back, and I might gain more than I started out with. This is the first of many breakthroughs, but I don’t believe that this is the main breakthrough- the thing/matter that actually caused me to gain weight in the first place. That matter is what I must get to, deal with, and overcome if I hope for permanent weight lost.
Please share your own stories of challenges and how did you overcome them. Stay tune because there is more to come.

My Weight Loss Journey: Day 1

Well guys I did it, I took the first step in the right direction as it concerns my health. On Saturday, March 15, 2014 I started Weight Watchers. March 15, 2014 was the day I had to admit to myself that I need help with losing weight. I thought because I went to school to become a chiropractor and took classes in nutrition that I knew it all and I did not need help, but I was wrong. I will admit that I know more about health, fitness, and nutrition than the average person, but I still need help with being motivated to do what I know I should be doing as it concerns my health and fitness. I will also admit that I was ashamed of myself because I had gained so much weight after losing a lot of weight. The first time I really tried to lose weight I was in chiropractic school, I had help from my friends, and I got down to 200 lbs on my way to my goal weight of  185 lbs ( a size 12). I was so proud of myself, and I had son much confidences in myself. And then we all graduated and life started. I moved to Illinois and began working. I met a man and got married, and then had a baby. And while I was living my life the weight began to come back and I found myself weight 250 lbs. During my pregnancy I gained more than 60 lbs, and I felt that it was okay because I was pregnant. After I had my son, and gained release for my midwife, I began working out. But I felt so guilty about leaving my son to go to the gym to workout that I stopped, and my weight kept increasing. My self esteem continued to decrease and depression began to creep into my life. So, I began working out again, but guilt began to creep back into my life. But this time I thought that I could workout before I came home from work. I thought that since I am already out of the house, I am not leaving my son, so when I get home I am there to stay. This plan worked for a while and I began to see some weight lost. However, this did not last for long and the weight came back. This back and forth cycle continued for almost 2 years. What changed you may ask? Good question, and my answer would be that my mind changed.
God says that I am healed, and this includes obesity; so I believe that I am healed. And because I believe this my spirit began to speak to me. I began to see me healthier, having more energy, and being more active with my son. I told a friend that after I had my baby I wanted to join Weight Watchers, but after I had my son I found every reason not to join. But when the new year came I just thought that if other people can do it why can’t I. I began thinking about where would the money come from, because I don’t have extra to pay to Weight Watchers. So, I prayed and March 15, 2014 I took my first step.Taking that first step was very scary because thoughts of failure began to creep in my mind, but I took the step anyway. My spirit began to speak to me and it told me that God has a purpose and a plan for me and in order for me to reach it I have to be at my best and right now I am not at my best. So, I sat in the meeting and after the meeting was over the discussion about payment came, but I knew it would. I almost said forget it because where would the money come from, then my spirit told me to pay weekly ($14.00 every week), which may seem like nothing but it is when you have  child to tak care of. Nevertheless ,I did it. I signed up and moved forward with what I was told to do by my spirit.
So, Day 1 I weighted in at 251.6 lbs and my overall weight loss goal is to lose 67 lbs. My weekly goal is to workout 5 days a week for 30 minutes. Many will say that this goal should be easy to complete, but if you have read my story you will know that this will be difficult for me, but I know I must do it and I will do it with help from God. I will do it one day at a time, because my spirits tells me to only look at and focus on that day.
Continue to read about my weight loss journey and wish we well. You can also share you own personal jourenys. See below how I look now:







    

My Life Journey: September 22, 2013

On September 22, 1978 I entered this world with a God given purpose that is so big that only God can help me to accomplish it. So, I was put on a path by God and every decision that I made brought me closer to my purpose, as well as shaped me into the person that God desires me to be (still in progress of transforming). However, their have been some decisions that I have made that have caused me be set back frustrated, upset, depressed, and derailed; but through it all my God was and is there to help me get right back on track.
Now on my 35th birthday, September 22, 2013, I am reflecting on my life thus far and I know that I am blessed. I am married with a son, and realizing that life is a journey and the road map for the journey is the Bible (God’s Word). I have also realized that I have to decide, believe, receive, and give thanks so that God’s Word will be real for me. God’s word commands us to be more than just hearers of His word, we must also be doers. Looking back I know that God was with me because there were a lot of things that could have happen to me but did not, but I also know that if I had been more than a hearer of His word I would be closer to my purpose.
I still haven’t fulfill my God given purpose but I know that with the Word of God I have control over time, therefore, I still have time to fulfill it. God’s Word keeps me strong. Share your journey with me. Until next time….. 

My Motherhood Journey

June 7, 2012 I joined a sisterhood that no one can even understand until they join the club, the sisterhood of being a mother. After I became a mother a remembered that my mother would always say, you will understand what I mean when you become a mother, and I must say I truly understand everything she has ever told me.  God gave me to opportunity to be a mother to the world’s most precious gem, a black man child. The African American male is the world’s most feared, but most powerful human being that God has placed on this earth and the sad thing about the whole thing is that he does not know his potential. So, now I am on this wonder, amazing journey of being a mother to my son and I am thankful, joyous, and very concerned about my child’s future.

 Some may be wondering how did this all come about, and I must say that I have always wanted to speak about  being a mother, as it is so amazing, but after hearing the verdict against George Zimmerman a few weeks ago, I just had to get some of my thoughts out. The night when George Zimmerman was found not guilt of all counts against him in the murder of Trayvon Martin really showed me that history is now but just being presented in a different form and that something has to be done, but what.  I was up late just looking at the walls and the ceiling trying to figure out what can I do to help to create change in this world for my son, what can I do to make sure that he will have a chance to become the person God wants him to become, what can I do to make sure that this does not happen again, what can I do? And while I was thinking about what I could do Lee, my son, woke up and I had to go see what was wrong with him. After I got him to go back to sleep, I began to realize that changing the world starts in my house by teaching my son to honor and respect himself.  Changing the world starts with me being a parent, with me being his mother.
We (African-Americans) have to realize that we have to continue telling the stories of our ancestors so future generations don’t forget what happen, but we also have to teach our child to be better than we were. The only way to change the world is to change ourselves. We have to think differently and be smart in order for the world to think differently about the African-American race. Even though a lot of African-Americans think they don’t represent each other, when I reality we do and we owe it to our ancestor to keep moving forward to make sure this world changes for the better of every American.
So, my motherhood journey has began. And I have realized that I must set rules in place for my son now in order for him to be a respectable, strong, intelligent, honorable African-American man. Well, that’s all for now but I will keep you all update about my motherhood journey. In the mean time you all can share some of your motherhood stories. Until next time…

February: The Month of Love Part 2

Ephesians 5:28-30 states the following; “Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, Because we are members (parts) of His body.”

Notice what God’s word tells husbands to do; love their wives as their own bodies; which means that my husband is to love me and treat me like he would love and treat himself. I feel that this can be a difficult thing for husbands to do, but  some husbands make an effort at times. So, today I just wanted to say that I am thankful that my husband makes the effort to really listen to me when we talk. I know that sometimes I can just talk and talk and talk, but when it really counts my husband listens to me. I am thankful that my husband is learning how to love me like he loves himself. I am thankful that my husband is choosing to love me like he loves himself; because that is the first step that husbands and wives must make-to choice to do something. What I have learned in my many years on this earth is that no one can make you do anything, no matter what they may say to you about whatever, you will always have a choice to make and that is your right because God made it that way. So, by my husband making the decision to chose to love me like he loves himself is huge, and I am very thankful for that.

So, today I am thankful that my husband continues to chose to love me like he loves himself. I know wives say their husbands never listen to them, and for me some of the time that is true. But that 10% of the time, the time when I really need him to listen, he always rises to the occasion and really listens, and I am truly thankful for those times.

I have said my peace for this week, now it is your turn. What are you thankful for today? Until next time….

February: The Month of Love

The Webster’s Dictionary defines love as a strong affection or liking for someone or something, and I Corinthians 13:4-7 states what God says love is. This month there will be many stores that will be selling a lot of things that this world says represents what love is, but God’s word tells me different. God’s word tells me that love is a choice that someone makes regardless of the situation or how he other person may act. Because I am a child of the Most High I have been told that I must love the people of this world regardless of how they may act. But loving people can be hard, so that is why I have chosen to blog about what I am so thankful for during February to remind myself to love and to be appreciative of what God has blessed me with. I find myself forgetting, which causes me to fall into depression, but then I remind myself that God didn’t create me with  spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. And with God’s word coming out of my mouth I remember that I was created with a purpose and I must continue to walk it out with God instead of just accepting what this world say I can have (because Gods word says I can have what I say I can have).

So, today, on February 2, 2013 I am thankful for God and the fact that He can’t lie. I am so thankful to know God for myself, and I know for myself that He can’t lie. I Corinthians 13:4-8 states: “Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].”

What are you thankful for today? That is the question for this month, so think about it, write it down, and share it if you like. But use it to remind your self that God is real and He really loves you….. Until next time…..



Me and My Husband




My Son-Lee





My Mommy…




My Family



My Sister

Some of the people that I love………

Mistakes

As this year ends and another year comes in I sit back and think about all of the mistakes that I have made in 2012. I am sitting back thinking about the opportunities that I have missed out on because of fear and uncertainty. God’s word tells us all not to be afraid, as long as we have faith as a muster seed we can move mountains; but I have to be honest with myself at the end of this year (because God already knows the true) I have been fearful and doubtful and that is the main reason why I am not where I thought I would be, that’s why I don’t have what I thought I would have by now. By now I thought I would be back in Mississippi practicing chiropractic in my own office, I thought I would have my dream home and car, I thought I would been changing the world with my education; I thought that I would have it all by now. But I don’t and the reason I don’t is because I have allowed fear to come into my life; I have allowed doubt to set into my mind which causes me not to move forward. And guys that is the biggest mistake that I have ever made. Instead of me allowing faith to truly guide me, and not just pretend to, I have allowed so many blessings to pass me by, and so many open doors to close in my face because of this mistake.

So, how can I change this and learn from this mistake? That is the question that I am asking myself today. How can I not beat myself up and lose hope? How can I go into the new year with hope and a fresh attitude, when all of the past years have been filled with failed attempts to move  forward? Well, if I have learned anything from successful people, they learn from their failures and they move forward. Most successful people embrace their failures because they feel like what can they learn from their successes.

I have always desired to be a successful person; someone that other people could look up to, but this year I feel like a total failure. And this is the first time that I have been totally honest with myself. However, there is one thing I do know, successful people never give up on their dreams no matter what. But how can I ensure that this year is a successful one and not a year filled with more failure?

Well, this is my end of the year story. I know someone out there knows how I feel and I know it’s someone out there that can give a word of advise. I encourage you all to look within yourself and reflect on your 2012 year. But before I end this I must say one thing, I was blessed to become a wife and mother, and that in its self is a huge success, but where I have failed is in my own personal hopes and dreams that I had for myself since I was a little girl. I know that in order for me to be a good wife and mother I must be true to myself.

I am going to continue to reflect on what I need to do to become that successful person that I desire to be and I hope you all to the same. Lets take to journey of becoming successful people together next year. Happy New Year to you all. Until next time…

Relationships: They All Take Work….

Merriam-Webster defines a relationship as the state of being related or interrelated; the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship; a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealing; and a romantic or passionate attachment. And as I have grown I have learned that a relationship is exactly how it is defined. I have learned that as I get older relationship get more complicated and few.When I was in high school I had so many friends, and I had a few guys that was interested in me. But growing up I was a shy and quiet girl, until I joined the basketball team. When I started playing basketball it seemed like more people began to notice me, and I began to form more relationships. The more new relationships that I formed the more my older relationship were tested. This was my first experience with jealousy and I am still experiencing it today at the age of 34. But at my current age it seems like the experiences are getting harder and louder, and I still don’t know how to handle the situation. Maybe that is why I keep going through the same situation but with different relationships.


Being some one’s daughter and sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, a co-worker, and so on, changes as you grow and change. I thought that things would stay the same or get better as I grew up, but things just seem to get more complicated. When I was in high school I did not have to work so hard at a relationship, and now it seems like I have to work extra hard to let everyone in my life know that I care about them. But I must say that I have fewer friends and the one relationship that should be priority seems to be pushed to the side, and that is my relationship with God. Through everything that I have been through, every experience, God has always been there. God never changes, no mare how I change and grow; and for that I am so relived. He is the one thing, the only thing that has been constant and I have consistently pushed Him to the side. I am beginning to see that I must nourish the relationship between God, because it is that relationship that teaches me how to better for the other relationships, and how to let go of some relationships.

Because every relationship that you form takes work to grow it and to maintain, but if you focus on the one relationship that matters, the relationship between you and God, then the other relationship will all work out for your good. I really would like to hear about your experiences with relationships, so spill it. Until next time….

Grieving

The grieving process is something that never stops. It might get easier, but the process never stops. How do I know one may ask? Well, I am still grieving the death of my mother. Evia D. Spight died in 2004; week before her 61st birthday, and I am still going through the grieving process. I thought by now I would be done grieving, but it wasn’t until I had my son that I realized that the process never stops. I find myself going through different phases of grief. And the phase that I am currently in now is anger. I am very angry with my mother for not fighting harder to live.


The definition of grief is a deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement; it is a cause  of such suffering; or an unfortunate outcome. And believe me when I say I feel the definition of grief almost everyday, now. The first few weeks were very hard, but as time went on the pain of losing my mother eased some. But when I got married and my family, including my mother, was not there to see it hurt me and I was sad again and wondering why did my mother, my best friend have to died before she got to see me get married. Then the pain of her death arose again when I got pregnant, and again when I had my son, and again every time I look at my son.

I am not in the sad phase at this time, I am angry with her because she just gave up. Medically, I understood what was going on with her body and I was amazed at what she was going through because at that time I was learning about cancer and the damage it can cause to the patient’s body. But at the same time I was hoping that she would be okay and that she would fight harder to stay around, but she had enough of this world and gave up. And now I am here 8 years later still struggling to understand why, and still trying to make it from day to day without talking to my best friend. There are so many things that I want to say to her, and I wish that she could have been there when I got married, found out I was pregnant, and had my first child. I wish she could have gotten the chance to meet her grandson Lee, and her son-in-law Lee. But she didn’t get the chance to do any of it and that makes me so mad.

The reason for this blog is not to just share my story, but to also let you know that you are normal if you are still grieving someone or something. And to let you know that it is okay to feel those emotions. The one thing that I have learned through pray and attending church is that your emotions are ever changing and that you should not react to every emotion because chances are it will change soon. I have also learned that joy really comes in the morning, so just be patient because it really is a never ending process. Feel the emotion and let it go, and know that it is okay to have those feelings just know that they are ever changing. If you have a similar story please share. Until next time….