Blog Post
My Weight Loss Journey: Day 1
My Life Journey: September 22, 2013
My Motherhood Journey
Some may be wondering how did this all come about, and I must say that I have always wanted to speak about being a mother, as it is so amazing, but after hearing the verdict against George Zimmerman a few weeks ago, I just had to get some of my thoughts out. The night when George Zimmerman was found not guilt of all counts against him in the murder of Trayvon Martin really showed me that history is now but just being presented in a different form and that something has to be done, but what. I was up late just looking at the walls and the ceiling trying to figure out what can I do to help to create change in this world for my son, what can I do to make sure that he will have a chance to become the person God wants him to become, what can I do to make sure that this does not happen again, what can I do? And while I was thinking about what I could do Lee, my son, woke up and I had to go see what was wrong with him. After I got him to go back to sleep, I began to realize that changing the world starts in my house by teaching my son to honor and respect himself. Changing the world starts with me being a parent, with me being his mother.
February: The Month of Love Part 2
So, today I am thankful that my husband continues to chose to love me like he loves himself. I know wives say their husbands never listen to them, and for me some of the time that is true. But that 10% of the time, the time when I really need him to listen, he always rises to the occasion and really listens, and I am truly thankful for those times.
I have said my peace for this week, now it is your turn. What are you thankful for today? Until next time….
February: The Month of Love
So, today, on February 2, 2013 I am thankful for God and the fact that He can’t lie. I am so thankful to know God for myself, and I know for myself that He can’t lie. I Corinthians 13:4-8 states: “Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].”
What are you thankful for today? That is the question for this month, so think about it, write it down, and share it if you like. But use it to remind your self that God is real and He really loves you….. Until next time…..
Me and My Husband |
My Son-Lee |
My Mommy… |
My Family |
My Sister |
Some of the people that I love………
Mistakes
So, how can I change this and learn from this mistake? That is the question that I am asking myself today. How can I not beat myself up and lose hope? How can I go into the new year with hope and a fresh attitude, when all of the past years have been filled with failed attempts to move forward? Well, if I have learned anything from successful people, they learn from their failures and they move forward. Most successful people embrace their failures because they feel like what can they learn from their successes.
I have always desired to be a successful person; someone that other people could look up to, but this year I feel like a total failure. And this is the first time that I have been totally honest with myself. However, there is one thing I do know, successful people never give up on their dreams no matter what. But how can I ensure that this year is a successful one and not a year filled with more failure?
Well, this is my end of the year story. I know someone out there knows how I feel and I know it’s someone out there that can give a word of advise. I encourage you all to look within yourself and reflect on your 2012 year. But before I end this I must say one thing, I was blessed to become a wife and mother, and that in its self is a huge success, but where I have failed is in my own personal hopes and dreams that I had for myself since I was a little girl. I know that in order for me to be a good wife and mother I must be true to myself.
I am going to continue to reflect on what I need to do to become that successful person that I desire to be and I hope you all to the same. Lets take to journey of becoming successful people together next year. Happy New Year to you all. Until next time…
Relationships: They All Take Work….
Being some one’s daughter and sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, a co-worker, and so on, changes as you grow and change. I thought that things would stay the same or get better as I grew up, but things just seem to get more complicated. When I was in high school I did not have to work so hard at a relationship, and now it seems like I have to work extra hard to let everyone in my life know that I care about them. But I must say that I have fewer friends and the one relationship that should be priority seems to be pushed to the side, and that is my relationship with God. Through everything that I have been through, every experience, God has always been there. God never changes, no mare how I change and grow; and for that I am so relived. He is the one thing, the only thing that has been constant and I have consistently pushed Him to the side. I am beginning to see that I must nourish the relationship between God, because it is that relationship that teaches me how to better for the other relationships, and how to let go of some relationships.
Because every relationship that you form takes work to grow it and to maintain, but if you focus on the one relationship that matters, the relationship between you and God, then the other relationship will all work out for your good. I really would like to hear about your experiences with relationships, so spill it. Until next time….
Grieving
The definition of grief is a deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement; it is a cause of such suffering; or an unfortunate outcome. And believe me when I say I feel the definition of grief almost everyday, now. The first few weeks were very hard, but as time went on the pain of losing my mother eased some. But when I got married and my family, including my mother, was not there to see it hurt me and I was sad again and wondering why did my mother, my best friend have to died before she got to see me get married. Then the pain of her death arose again when I got pregnant, and again when I had my son, and again every time I look at my son.
I am not in the sad phase at this time, I am angry with her because she just gave up. Medically, I understood what was going on with her body and I was amazed at what she was going through because at that time I was learning about cancer and the damage it can cause to the patient’s body. But at the same time I was hoping that she would be okay and that she would fight harder to stay around, but she had enough of this world and gave up. And now I am here 8 years later still struggling to understand why, and still trying to make it from day to day without talking to my best friend. There are so many things that I want to say to her, and I wish that she could have been there when I got married, found out I was pregnant, and had my first child. I wish she could have gotten the chance to meet her grandson Lee, and her son-in-law Lee. But she didn’t get the chance to do any of it and that makes me so mad.
The reason for this blog is not to just share my story, but to also let you know that you are normal if you are still grieving someone or something. And to let you know that it is okay to feel those emotions. The one thing that I have learned through pray and attending church is that your emotions are ever changing and that you should not react to every emotion because chances are it will change soon. I have also learned that joy really comes in the morning, so just be patient because it really is a never ending process. Feel the emotion and let it go, and know that it is okay to have those feelings just know that they are ever changing. If you have a similar story please share. Until next time….
Lee’s First Night In His Bed
Well, it finally happened; my baby boy is now sleeping in his crib. How did it happen and when did it happen is what everyone will find out. And I also want to talk about how emotional I was, as I thought putting him in his crib would be easy for me; but it was not.
On Tuesday September 25, 2012 I put my baby boy in his crib, thinking that this will be good for me and my husband and that it will be good for Lee. How did this happen you might ask? Well, because of an incident that happened on Monday, I decided that it was time that I put Lee in his own room. I thought that he would cry, but he didn’t he just went to sleep. I also did not think that I would get emotional when I placed Lee in his crib for the first time, but I did. Like I said, I really thought it would be easy to put him in his own room because after all it is his room and he belongs in his room. Well, I must say that moving Lee into his own room has been a good thing for me and my husband. My husband and I are closer than ever and I am very happy for that. Both of us are actually enjoying each other’s company and that feels great. So many people have told me not put the baby in the bed with me and my husband, but we did it anyway. And we both learned something from doing that, that we must value each other and respect each other; we should not take each other for granted we must always continue to acknowledge each other. So, in a way by allowing Lee to sleep with us my husband an I learned that teamwork, communication, and affection are very important to a relationship. But I can say that I did enjoy the months that Lee was sleeping in the room with us. I would find myself just looking a him ad thinking that he is a miracle and I am so thankful that the Lord gave him to us.
Moving Lee into his own room was very emotional for me. I didn’t think that I would want to cry, but I did. I wanted to cry because my little man is growing up and it is happening so fast. And now that Lee is sleeping in his own room, somehow it actually feels like I am a mother. I really don’t know how to explain it, because on June 7, 2012 I became a mother, but something clicked when I placed my little, precious baby boy in his crib for the very first time. I also felt a little helpless when I placed him in his crib. I began to think about all of the things that could happen to him and I would not be there to protect him. And then I got scared and I almost went to get him and bring him back into the room with me, but my husband made me see that he has to grow up and that we have to let him grow up. So, I then went to look at him in his crib and he was in a deep sleep and spread out in his bed and at that moment I was okay with the decision that I made and I went back to bed.
Well, that is my story and I would have never thought that putting my baby boy in his own room was bring up so many different emotions. Maybe if; you know what, forget maybe if because I am thankful for that experience and if I had to do it all over again I would probably do it the same way. So, my advise to you first time mothers is this; do what you need to do for you and your child. Do what makes you feel comfortable no matter what other people may say; and trust me people will say. Please share your story of when you placed your child in their crib for the very first time. Until next time….