Blog Post

Well, by now I am sure that you guys know that I had my first child on June 7th. And I must say having a baby is hard, but what is a little more difficult is getting use to having a baby in the house. Trust me when I say that everything changes. I love the time that I get to sleep, and that has changed dramaticaly. Now, I am sleeping for 2 to 3 hours throughout the day; and I am use to sleeping for 9 hours straight before I get up to do anything. I had more time to do stuff that I needed to do, or shall I say I had more energy to do those things. It was all about my husband before the Little Man came, now I am more focused on the needs of my baby. But the biggest thing that I can say has changed in the house is the amount of sleep that both my husband and myself are getting. But this blog is not a story about how my life has changed with a new baby in the house; it’s really about how Lee Arthur Smith, V has grown and changed in the 3 weeks that he has  been in this world. Yeah, our world has changed quickly in 3 weeks but Lee has changed also. Lee is bigger than he was when he came home. He is more aware of his surroundings. He is becoming a little more comfortable and he is able to kind of shooth himself.

As parents, we are learning his little coos, and what cry means what. All of this has happen in 3 short weeks. It is amazing to me how quickly everybody is growing and learning. What’s even more amazing is how fast Lee has grown and changed in 3 weeks. It’s also amazing to me how much I love this little boy. See below for pictures of Lee Arthur Smith, V and see for yourself hpw he changed.

                                                    Lee coming home from the hospital

                                                      2 days old-June 9, 2012

Last year around this time Lee and myself went to the courthouse in Rolling Meadows and vowed to be true to each other until death do us part; in the spiritual realm we became one flesh. That was a very happy day because two families joined to make one family.This day will always be a very special day because this was the day that my mother was born; my best friend came into this world. Today marks the end of our (Lee and myself) first year as husband in wife.

So, today I am reflecting on this year as so many things have happened in this year and I have changed in so many ways. I realized that in order for me to get what God has for me I have to stop waiting around for the perfect time to do stuff and just do it. I have always made excuses of why I could not do something; either I haven’t studied enough or I did not have the money, so I would tell myself that I should wait to take my board exams. Now I am finding myself falling behind, but my dream is still burning bright and strong and I must find a way to get to where God desires me to be. I realized that marriage is hard work. I don’t have any role models to go to when it comes to marriage, so I have found myself saying some stuff to my husband that I shouldn’t say and it always caused more confusion between my husband and I. However, when I go to the word of God I always seem to find the solution to the problem. Within this year of marriage I became a mother. Pregnancy was a journey all in itself that I wasn’t mentally ready for, but I had to get ready. I was always told not to get pregnant, so when it happened I was very upset and I just knew that my family would be disappointed in my because I hadn’t finish what I started. I must say that I was a little disappointed in myself because I hadn’t finished what I started, and now I was pregnant. But motherhood is another story and I will discuss that more in another blog. I also realized that I must accept my husband for who he is and know that I am here to help him be and do better, not change him into the man that I think he should be. And I have found that acceptance is something that is hard to do, because there is always something that you may see in that person that you don’t like and you want to change it.

Like I stated, marriage is hard work but I am very happy that I am married to Lee. We may not have natural role models concerning marriage, but when we look to God and allow him to lead, all of our problems/concerns will be solved. Communication is also very important. We have to make sure that we communicate with God and each other. And we have to make sure that we make time for each other because quality time is very important. We are still growing and changing so it is very important that we stay connected. So, happy 1 year anniversary to Lee and I pray for many more anniversaries.

That’s my story I would like to hear yours. Share your story with me or if you have some advise I am all ears. Until next time……   

Well, I am back after 3 weeks and I have great news; I had the baby. Lee Arthur Smith,V was born on June 7, 2012 at 6:30pm. His arrival into this world was something else, and I must say that giving birth was the 2nd hardest thing I ever had to do. The first hardest thing that I ever had to do was say good bye to my mother. She was my best friend and I really wish she was here now. So, let me tell you the story of how my little man came into this world.

The journey started on Wednesday, June 6, 2012 at 8pm. This was the date that my midwife, my husband and I decided to induce my labor. I was so nervous and scared because I had no idea of what was about to happen. All I knew is what other people told me. I was told that getting induced is more painful than actually allowing labor to start on it’s own. But I had other things to think about, and so my husband and I decided that we made the best decision for the situation that we where in. Around 11pm the induction process began and 2 to 3 hours later I was in labor. I was hooked up to the fetal monitor and another monitor that monitored my contractions. Everything was going good, and my contractions were coming very often and they were very strong. My midwife was very excited because she thought it would take longer for the medicine to cause a reaction. My husband was there, and I know that I could not have made it through the whole process without him. I thank God everyday for him. I was in labor for 14 hours and I had on dilated 5cm. My midwife was very concerned because they broke my water and at this point time was very important. The bag that the baby was in was protecting him from infections and because they had to constantly check me to see how I was progressing the midwife was ver concerned about my baby’s health. So, now we had a decision to make and my husband and I decided that maybe it was time that I had a C-Section.

My midwife wanted to wait another hour, but I was done and I was so ready to have my baby in my arms. So, she made sure that I really wanted to have the surgery and I was sure. She called in the medical doctor to perform the surgery, and she told me that it would take awhile for the MD to get to the hosppital. I was scared and a little sad because I wanted to have my baby vaginally. But before I when into the hospital I told myself not to get stuck on trying to do everything naturally because I am a chiropractor, or because that is what a lot of older women say that I should have the baby naturally. I went through with the surgery and at 6:30pm on June 7, 2012 my little man was born and I can’t explain the feeling that I felt. Every woman that I have spoken to about having a baby all say the same thing, the pain and the hard work is worth it. And they were all right, it was worth it, but I don’t think that I want to do it again.

I am so in love with my little man and now I know how much God loves me. I never thought that I could love another person the way that I love him. He is so little and helpless and I just want to give him everything and protect him for everything. I find myself just looking at him and tears are coming down my face. I want him to do so much better than me, but in order to make sure he has that drive I have to show him. Because it is true when they say kids do what they see you do not what you say. I just pray that my husband and I are good parents and that we show him how to be a good citizen and a strong, educated man.

Well, that’s my story of how my family was started. Now, I am on a new journey and I am so happy to share it with you all. Until next time……

Hey guys, long time no hear from. So, let me give you guys a quick update on what has been going on with my pregnancy. I am now 40 weeks pregnant and my due date is May 29, 2012. From all of the documentation that I have been given to read by my midwife, I am currently going through pre-labor. Some with ask what is pre-labor, and I would say that is a great question.So, let me tell you what pre-labor is. Pre-labor is the time period when your body is preparing to go through labor. So, I have been experiencing the following symptoms: cramping (cramping that feels like my cycle wants to come on), my vagina is sore, my stomach gets tight/hard, and I am use the bathroom a lot. Those are some of the physical changes that I am going through. Mentally I am nervous, excited, feeling like I am ready for the baby to come but not ready for the baby to come, tried of being tried, and tried of being pregnant. I am feeling like this will never end, but I am ready for it to end, but I am scared for it to come to an end because of the what I have heard about labor.

So, now I am just waiting on my baby to come into this world. And while I am waiting for my baby to come, I am trying to mentally prepare myself for what I was made to do. I must admit that when I first found out that I was pregnant I was sad because I thought that I would not be able to do the things that I planned on doing with my life. But because I have been praying and reading the word of God, I know that God will give me the desires of my heart and that having this baby is part of my purpose here on earth. I am realizing that I will be able to I can do all things through God that strengthens me. It may be hard, but it will be worth it in the end. I was put on this earth to subdue it, replenish it, and take dominion of it; and with God’s grace it will be done.

Well, that’s my story for now and if you guys have something you want share please do. Until next time.

                                                                  The Baby’s Room…..

Well, I am back with another part of my story. If you have been following me so far then you know I am about the have my first baby. I am now 34 weeks pregnant and I am now going to the doctor’s office every 2 weeks. I got to my 3rd trimester really fast, and now it feels like it is slowing down. But in away I am happy about it slowing down and let me tell you why. My husband and I have attended the hospital orientation and the birthing class, and both of those events further tells me that this baby is coming and his or her arrival is right around the corner. Both my husband and myself start getting a little scared. Viewing the birthing room made it so very real, and I have start to wonder if I can really do this. Can I give birth to my first child naturally? The birthing class gave me a lot of information that will be very useful, but I am still wondering if I can give birth to my first child naturally.

Now I have even more questions about labor and giving birth. Like, will I be able to get my body back, or will I still be able to pursue my dreams and rise my child? How will labor really fell and I will I act during labor? I wonder how will my husband and I act with the baby? I have so many questions and concerns, so many what ifs, but the only way that my questions will be answered is by having a beautiful, health baby.

I am so excited about meeting my first child; getting to know his or her personality. Seeing who he or she takes after. Yet, more questions. If you think you can help answer some of these questions, please feel free to chime in. Until next time…….

So, how should I begin? Well, I will start by saying that I am now 27 weeks pregenant and my little one has been moving around a lot; and I must say I am sooooo happy to feel  the movement. Also, I have noticed that what I used to eat I don’t like anymore so I can’t eat it. And if you know me you know that I eat very weird but now I am eating very normal. Pregnancy is really life changing, and the stuff they show on television is so far off. Pregnancy is not an easy event that women go through and at the end of 9 months a baby comes out; there are so many little things that change on a woman. For example, did you know that while pregnant some women get nose bleeds and that is because of the extra blood that the woman is prodcuing for the baby. That is something that is not shown or discussed on tv. And how about the hip pain and the minor cramping that happens because of the growing baby. Or how about how hard it is to put your clothes and shoes on every day. These are just some of the little annoyances that comes with pregnancy and that women don’t really disucss.

However, on the upside, I have the chance to bring another person into this world. I have the opportunity to feel something growing inside of me. I talk to my baby all the time, and I try to imgine what my baby looks like, and who will the baby act most like. I am also still trying tho focus on my dreams too. I am still planning on doing all the things that the Lord has called me to do; but now I will have another side kick with me (my baby).

Well, that’s all I have for today. I am very blessed to have the opportunitiy to become a mom. I must admit I am a little nervous about because being a parent is a hugh responsiblity. So, if you guys have any advice I am all ears. Until next time……..

I am back and I have some news for you. What’s the news, you ask? Well, I am pregnant but you probably guess that from the title. I am now 15 weeks pregnant, and I still can’t believe that I am pregnant. It all happened so fast, and if you know me you know that I like to plan everything out. So, when my husband began to talk about starting a family, I suggested that we wait until January 2012 to actually start trying to have a baby. However, my husband had a very different plan and waiting was not part of his plan. So, in September I found out I was pregnant, and I cried ,and cried, and cried because that was not my plan and because I haven’t accomplished the goals I wanted to accomplish before I started a family. On the upside, my family, his family, and our friends were so happy for us. And when Lee found out that I was pregnant, he wanted to tell the whole world because he was so happy, and that made me happy.

Now that I am progressing through my pregnancy, I have began watching TV shows like, “A Baby Story”, “16 and Pregnant”, and “Teen Mom”. And what I have seen is that every pregnancy is very different, but I already knew that. I have also seen that many of the teen moms have to put their dreams on hold in order to be a mom, and that is what I don’t want to happen to me. I have so big dreams, and it seems like they are being put on the back burner because of life. But then I remember what God’s word tell me, I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me, and I regain my focus. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy that the Lord has blessed me and allowed me to even get pregnant, because their are so many women out there that  cannot get pregnant. But these dreams and desires were given to me by God too, and He gave me these dreams and desires long before I ever thought about marriage and family.

Well, so far these are some of my frustration and concerns about being pregnant and becoming a mother. I will keep you all updated on my progress, and if you have any advise please chime in. Until we meet again…..

Long time no hear from: I know that is what everyone has been thinking. Well, I have been a little busy with life and I know everyone can atest to that. But lately I have been finding myself comparing myself to my friends, and to other people that have what I think I want. So, some might ask how did this feeling coming about? The feeling came about after I began to see the plans I had for my life just go out of the window and I began to see other people living their dreams. I began to feel like a failure, like I have let my mother and my family down. Well, some might ask what were your plans for your life?  Well, I think I should start at the beginning of how my plans for my life came about.

At the age of 13 or 14 I began to look around me and I began to tell myself that I did not want to be like my mother, and that I wanted to show the people in Mississippi that you could do more than just work in a factory or at Wal-Mart. So, my plan was always to become finically stable, to ensure that my child or children have better than I did. I did not know how I was going to do that, but I always knew that my mind would take me far. So, I ended up graduating from undergrad with a BS in Biology an I went on to Life University to study Chiropractic. I meet so many different people and I was not sure what I wanted to do; do I want to work for someone or do I want my own clinic. When I began to hear that you will never make the kind of money that you are worth working for someone, that was something that was told to me by my mother but I believe that was a message send by God. I graduated from chiropractic school with my DC degree and hope. The next challenge that I faced were my boards. while all my classmates passed their board exams successfully and become licensed chiropractic I was just stuck. In the meantime, I have gotten a married and now I am 12 weeks pregnant with my first child, but still no licenses and I feel like my plans are slipping away.My plan was to always have my business first and then focus on my family, but it seems to be going into the opposite direction. And now I have begun looking at other people and I have started comparing my life to their lives. I know that I am very blessed and that the Lord is continuing to increase me, but I just wonder if I will ever accomplish the dreams that I dreamed when I was a young girl. I continue to remind myself that my journey is my journey and that the Lord has a plan for me, but I just sometime wonder when will I pass all of my board exams, open my clinic, fulfill my dreams.

If you feel the same way or if you have some advise for me chime in, as I wold love to hear what you all have to say.

Have you were watched Behind the Music on VH1? Well, the show actually discusses different music superstars. It shows what that superstar went through while producing wonderful music. Some of the people were molested as a child, on drugs while creating good music, or something horrible was happening to them while they were on the rise to stardom. So, I began to think about my life and how I am on my own journey to achieve my goals and dreams. I also felt like if those superstars could go through what they went through and they still made it, then I should be able to do it to. But I also realized that each person, at some point in time, came to grips with their demons and decided to let it go and move forward. Some of them changed for the better and some of them remained in the same place, but they all came to grips with their demons. By coming to grips with the things that they were ashamed of they were free to forgive themselves or others, but it also opened up their hearts to receive what the world has to offer them.

So, I began to think about what is behind my music (journey)? What demons am I holding on to because I am ashamed or because I just feel like I have to hold on to them? And there is one big demon (stronghold) that I have been holding on too, one demon that has been causing me to question if I deserve what God has in store for me and my family. So, what’s behind my music is the fact that I had an abortion 3 years ago. Some might say why did I do that and other might understand, but the reality of it all is that I made the choice to abort a pregnant because I did not feel that I was ready for a child. During that time me and my boyfriend, now husband, where fighting all the time and I thought that we were going to break up. How could I have a baby with someone that might not be in my life forever? I am a product of a single parent family, and it was hard growing up with just a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother because she raised me and took care of me. But I have always missed that father daughter connection. I have always felt like I wasn’t good enough because my daddy did not want me and I did not a child of mine to ever feel like that. So, me and Lee talked bout it and we both decided that the best thing for us to do would be to have an abortion.