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Hi My Traveling Friends…

I know that it has been a while since we have talked, and since I have talked about my weight lost journey. Most of you may be thinking that I have it all figured out because I haven’t spoke about this part of my journey. But the truth is my friends, I am just scratching the surface when it comes to my weight lost journey. But I always promised you guys that I would tell you the truth even if it was not pretty, and the truth is this year I had a light bulb moment concerning my weight –

As I began to heal the broken places within myself (losing emotional weight) I have started to lose physical weight.

I have tried every weight lost diet out there, Weight Watcher’s, Atkins, and just plain old sheer will power. But in the end the weight remained and I grew even more frustrated with myself. However, I saw so many people losing 100’s of pounds, and they where doing it the natural way, that I would tell myself that it can be done, and that it can be done be me too.

So, when the COVID-19 pandemic started I told myself that I must remain active, and that I will workout 5 days a week. And I did just that, I worked out 5 days a week. But even though I was working out 5 days a week, I was still overeating and eating late at night. And we all knows that I was not overeating veggies, right? And then one night I started to question my actions. I started asking myself why was I doing this – over-eat/binge eat – feel shame – workout – and start all over again. I gave myself permission to know the truth about my behavior no matter how ugly it sound or how badly it hurt. And I also asked the Holy Spirit for guidance and strength as the truth was being revealed to me. I discovered that I believed that I could not lose weight because I was told when I was younger that I was big boned and that is why I was over weight. What does that even mean, big-boned? But this was something that I was told over and over and over again by people that I loved and trusted.

But I keep working out and I did something that no other diet out there does; I began to tackled my beliefs about weight and weight lost. I began to become aware, acknowledge, process, accept and act. Why, how, what, cry, and question it all.

Then, on May 27, 2021 I did something that I have been dreading. I stepped on the scale to see if I had lost any weight. To my surprise I did lose weight, I lost 9lbs. And in that very moment, on the scale, I felt two very strong emotions – excitement and disappointment. The thought that was attached to the feeling of excitement was YES, I lost weight and then the thought that came into my mind immediately was yeah but you should have lost more. Disappointment took over.

Because I felt disappointed I just wanted to eat a cookie, I wanted to eat a whole row of cookies. Instead of eating a cookie I did something that I have NEVER DONE before – I paused and questioned that thought. I had been training myself for months so it seemed automatic – I questioned my thoughts because I have learned that thoughts are just thoughts, and they mean nothing until I give them meaning. In that moment I realized that my brain was attempting to make sure that I was right to believe that I can’t lose weight. Because this is what I have always believed, so that is what I exactly what I was creating.

Now with all of this awareness I have about my brain, and understanding how it was only trying to KEEP ME SAFE, I made a different choice. Instead of me eating an entire row of cookies, and guys believe me when I say that the urge was so strong because disappointment was heavy on me, I chose to go to the gym just like I planned on doing. And in that moment, while still feeling disappointment, I also started to feel very strong and in control of my life.

Okay my traveling friends I know you all are wondering how did I get to this place of pausing and questioning my thoughts instead of giving in to my urges, and it was during my time training to becoming a life coach that I was introduced to a process that I call the Phases of Transformation.

What are the Phases of Transformation and how did they help me to lose weight? And I believe that if you apply them to your life they will help you to lose weight too…

Phase 1 is Awareness. And during this phase you become aware of things that need to be changed or embraced. I became aware that my purpose in life requires me to be around for a long time, and it requires a lot of energy. But I also became aware that I am holding on to a lot of hurt that I need to let go of. I am blaming myself for a lot of stuff that was and is out of my control. I became aware that I was constantly beating myself up for not being perfect. And for a long time I was not showing myself compassion and grace.

Phase 2 is Acknowledgement. During this phase you acknowledge the thing or things you need to change or embrace – basically you call a thing a thing (say it out loud). So, I had to say out loud just how mean I was to myself, and that my life mattered even though I was not behaving as such. So many emotions rose up in me during the acknowledgment phase, and this leads me into phase 3 – processing.

Phase 3 is Process. In this phase you mentally go through a series steps that will help you understand the why of it all. I sat back and questioned why was I beating myself up for not being perfect, and where did all of the hurt that I was carrying come from, and why was I holding on to it. Now, when I started my transformation – my healing journey – Phase 3 took me a while because I hadn’t built up my mental strength to handle all of the emotions that I had been refusing to feel. I was just allowing my mind to run free and wild. But with more practice I am able to gain understanding of certain things a little faster. Even though I am able to process my emotions a little faster, this process can still be quite long and difficult for me. But when I give myself permission to go through what I need to go through in order to grow and understand myself and my behaviors, then my processing phase is much smoother.

Phase 4 is Acceptance. In this phase you fully acceptance what you have done, and why you are doing the thing that is holding you back. In my case what I had to accept was that I overeat late at night, and that I was overeating because I did not believe that I could lose a serious amount of weight and that made me feel like a failure. Feeling like a failure made me want to eat and eat and eat. The eating made me feel better, but it also validated my thought, that I could not lose a serious amount of weight. Once I fully accepted that I am the one overeating because I don’t want to feel a vibration in my body, now I am ready to take action. Which brings me to phase 5 – Action.

Phase 5 is Action. And guys, this is the phase where you decide to act and then you take action. The action that I decide to take was to feel my feelings, name my feelings, and question my feelings. I have become more aware of when I am experiencing a feeling in my body versus when I am hungry in my body, and that enables me to ask myself better questions about why I am feeling what I am feeling.

For so many years I have cut out different types foods, and restricted myself from simply enjoying the taste of food all in an effort to lose weight. I never really thought that my feelings could be weighing my down and that weight could be causing me to gain weight.

Guys, our bodies is trying to talk to us every single day but most of the time we don’t want to hear what it has to say so we deny, refuse, of buffer. But guess what, the message does not go away, it will only get louder and more damage will be caused. It is easier to deny, refuse, or buffer or feelings instead of dealing with the message that is coming forth. Guys, let’s start losing the weight so we can lose weight.

Until next time remember that Life Is But A Journey…

Okay guys, I am back with more revelation about myself that has helped me to grow and shine just a little bit brighter. But guys, for me this one new truth was a very painful one and yet it explained so much about why I do the things I do in this world.

This new awareness explains why I struggle with change, and why I am the first person to think an relationship is over when a disagreement occurs. This new truth about me explains why I push people away, and I never feel totally 100% secure in any of the relationship I am in. I always have to control everything.

Hey it is guys, I am now aware and acknowledge that I have abandonment issues.

Some of you maybe wondering how did I come to this new awareness, and the answer is much self reflection. I had to get still and silent and go within to really see just how I am showing up in this world. And for so many years my fear of losing people was creating just that, me losing people. But this fear within me, that I am now aware of, was developed during my childhood. Some of you maybe able to relate to my story of not being raised by your father but being raised by a strong independent, no nonsense mother. So, the first man that I was suppose to teach my about a man did not choose me. In fact, he denied me and my sister. And his of me denial placed a belief in my that I was not go enough. But I tried everyday of my life to get him to see me, to want to be my daddy. How many of you know that this was a set up for insecurity, sacrificing too much, and lying (people-pleasing).

Now fast-forward to 2021, I don’t trust anyone and I believe that I must control every aspect of the relationship, and I need constant validation and reassurance that people love me. And these are all signs of abandonment issues.

Once I became aware of the belief, I then had to acknowledge it and by acknowledge this belief I was now able to accept it as a belief that is no longer serving me. Now for the actions I took, and continue to take to transform that belief that I have carried with me for so many years.

1. I had to accept responsible for my own healing because the people that broke me are not responsible for healing me. So, in order for me to start to heal and transform this belief I could not sit around a wait for an apology or explanation of why.
2. By faith, I forgave my father for not being able to give me the love that I needed. Guys, because the truth is he did not know how to do it – so he didn’t do.
3. I began working on identifying the constant thoughts that pop in my head that are not serving me, and I begin to replace them with thought that will serve me.
4. I now honor my thoughts instead of resisting them, I process them through. I have stop pretending that I am not angry that my father denied me. I stop pretending that I am not sad that I did not get to experience having a daddy in my life.
5. I set healthy boundaries for myself so I could stop people please and start trusting people.
6. And I am more vulnerable and open with myself.
7. I practice self-care.
8. And I make an effort to stay connected to the people I love and care about, even when I feel scared or anxious.

Honestly guys, our healing journeys will always start with a choice. I was tired of feeling sad and alone all the time. I was tired of suffering, so I chose to figure out why. And once I made that choice my healing journey started. Guys, when will you make that choice to start your journey? I hope this post has helped you to get clear on what you want and to know that you are not alone in this world. By making a choice to show up for yourself in spite of it all, your healing journey can start too. And if need help, I am here and I can help.

Let me know if this helped you and just how it helped you by leaving a comment. If you want to learn more on just how I can help you and more about the Confidence Mindset Program, please go to the home page and schedule a free consultation call today.

Until next time remember that Life Is But A Journey…. Bye guys…

Hello my beautiful Tribe. I know that it has been a minute since the last time I have written a post. And trust me when I say I have missed you guys. The topic that I am discussing with you all was a very difficult topic for me at a point in my life, but I made a promise to myself to be transparent with you all and tell my story, and how I use my story to create future chapters of my story. The main reason that this topic was difficult for me to discuss is because it forced me to come face-to-face with the parts of me that I was trying hide from the world. I had to come face-to-face with the not so pretty parts of me that I was told I should not be apart of me. I had to realize that I am both good and bad, and then accept it.

I know you all maybe wondering how did this topic come about and why talk about it? What made me want to continue to dig deeper within myself to reveal those dark places? And would you believe that it was a children’s movie that moved me to dig deeper within to see those dark places. Well, let’s begin this part of the journey called Acceptance of Self…

I am sure that some of you have heard of the movie ” The Never Ending Story”. Well, I decided to watch this movie with my son, because I just wanted to spend some time with him in his world. Anyway, there is a part of the movie when the warrior had to come face-to-face with his true self in order to move forward on his quest. And just then the light bulb went of in my head. In order for us to move forward in life we must face and accept our selves – all of the good and all of the bad parts of ourselves.

For so many years I struggled with who I am. I always questioned who am I and why am I here? And because I really did not know who I was, I always tried to be what someone else said I should be just so I could be liked and accepted by others. During this time in my life, when I was people pleasing my worth and value lied with what I could do for people. Needless to say, I brought this version of myself into my marriage and I attempted to build my family on a broken foundation. I did not accept myself for who I was so how could I accept my husband or son for who they are. I was always judging them, because I was always judging me. See how that works?

Anyway, I know that you all may be wondering how did I get from lying to everyone, including myself, to a place of realizing who I am and accepting me for me. Well guys, let me tell you it was not easy. As a matter of fact it was very painful and emotional draining. I had to dismantle a lot of beliefs that I had that were no longer serving me. And I had to start taking full ownership and responsibility for the choices that I have made in my life. Do you guys know just how painful it was to sit down and say Jeanine you made a choice to stay in relationships with men who cheated on you, and Jeanine own the fact that you chose to have an abortion at 28 year old? I had to own it all. No one made me do those things, but I made those decisions and many more out of fear. And I had to own that too. I was scared that I would not find someone to love me or that I wouldn’t be a good mother, or whatever. It all stemmed for fear. And I know that some of you can totally relate.

Step one to any type of transformation is awareness. I had to become aware of the limiting beliefs, those trees planted within me, that where holding me back from living my life my way. Once I became aware of those limiting beliefs I begin to ask myself where did they come from, why do I think this way, why? I asked myself a lot of questions and over time I realized that most of the beliefs that I had about myself were taught to me by people who cared about me. Guys, the fact is we get a lot of our limiting beliefs (the beliefs that tell us how we should be, what we can do or not, and what we can have or not) from the people we love the most. I learned how to be a people pleaser during my childhood, and it just carried over into my adult life. WHY? Great question, and the answer is because that is what they were taught. The people we love the most were taught wrong, so of course they will teach us wrong.

The people that cared about me only wanted the very best for me, and they did their very best to give me the very best, even if it was wrong it was all they had to give to prepare me for the world. And I love them for that. And I want to offer you all that same realization about the people in your life, they did the very best they could with what they had, choose to love them because they did not know what they did not know.

So, from awareness comes understanding. And once I was aware of my limiting beliefs I was able to understand Jeanine more. I was able to understand why I would stay with men who have cheated on me, or why I had an abortion, or my I judge people so hard. Once I could understand me I could begin to accept the entire person that is Jeanine, flaws and all. From understanding I was able to find me again, and I was able to stop being a victim to my story and start owning my story. Now, step two is understanding. You must understand who you are, why you did what you did, and know that it is okay because you did the best you could do with what you had.

So, who is Jeanine?

I am good and bad.

I am a citizen of the kingdom of God.

I am a spiritual being because I am made in God’s image.

I am a righteous being, because Jesus paid the ultimate price for me.

I am naive.

I am ingeneous.

I am judgmental.

I am a creator.

I am a teacher.

I am a person that has been abandon.

I am unsupportive.

I am loving.

I am giving.

I am a workaholic.

I am worthy.

I am valuable.

I am who God says I am.

I had to accept those parts of me that this world said was bad. And once I was able to accept every part of Jeanine I could let down the mask and allow God to use me in the way He saw fit. So, see guys you have to accept you in your entirety before you can be used by God, before you can move forward. Because it is in your acceptance that freedom comes.

Now let me explain why I choose to discuss this topic.

I chose this topic because someone out there is struggling with who they are right now. They are trying to be everything for everyone else instead of really being and accepting who they are. Someone right now is on the verge of doing something that they will regret. I was that someone at one point in my life too, and I just wanted to know that I was not alone. So, I wanted to share my story to let that person, that someone know that they are not alone and that you can overcome it too. We are all God’s children and He loves each and everyone of us. God has an amazing plan for us all. And every part of our journey He will use for His glory, if we only let Him. Acceptance of self starts you on that journey.

Well, guys that is another part of my story that I share with you all, and I hope that my story helps someone else on their journey of accepting of themselves. Jeanine is someone who is wonderful, I AM WONDERFUL… And I own that…

I want to hear from you guys too, so share your story with me – Who are you?

Until next time remember that Life Is But A Journey…

Talk to you guys soon…

Welcome back my beautiful and inspirational Tribe. I know it’s been a while since I last posted something, but I have been doing some deep soul searching to figure out who I am and who I want to be on this Journey called LIFE… Did you guys miss me???? Well, I want you to know that I missed you guys. But the time away was worth it, because I have yet another true about myself that I need to get real clear about, and I really hope that my truth speaks to someone out there to inspire them to keep moving forward on the Journey called Life.

 

The foundation scripture for this article is John 16:33 and once you guys completely read through the article post you all will understand why this is the anchor for this post.

Welcome back guys. I really hope that you all have been enjoying my  articles, but most importantly I hope that you all realize that YOU are apart of MY TRIBE and that means that you are not alone — you guys are never alone on your journey called life. There are so many ups and downs on this journey, and the key to getting through it is to realize what you truly have control over and what you don’t have control over. Once you figure that out, you now have the power to make changes and do some things differently.  Because like the title says — offenses and storms will come — what will you do to get through them? Now let’s get started. Continue reading “Offenses and Storms Will Come”