Category: aha moment

Breaking the Habit of Generalizing People and Experiences

My Traveling Friends, have you ever caught yourself making sweeping statements about a group of people or assuming that one experience defines an entire category? Well, this tendency, which is commonly known as generalizing, is a common cognitive shortcut that can lead to misunderstandings and unfair judgements. And I found myself doing this common cognitive shortcut with the men I have been meeting on my dating journey. I was called out on it, and I thought to myself, how many people are generalizing people and experiences in an effort to protect themselves from being hurt? So, let’s talk about.

In this post, I will explore what generalizing means, why people do it, and how to overcome this habit to foster better connections and understanding.

Generalizing refers to the act of applying a belief or characteristic of a specific person or situation to an entire group or category. It’s a cognitive process where the brain simplify complex information by categorizing and drawing conclusions based on limited evidence or experiences.

My Traveling Friends, imagine meeting a very rude person from a particular background and assuming that everyone from that background is also rude. Or what if you witnessed one negative event and begin to believe that all similar situations will have the same outcome. Generalizing often involves making broad, sweeping statements that ignore individual differences and nuances.

So, why do people generalize people and experience ? Well here are several reasons why people tend to generalize:

  1. Cognitive Efficiency: Our brains seek to conserve energy by forming quick judgements based on limited information.
  2. Previous Experiences: Past encounters or cultural influences can shape our beliefs about certain groups or situations.
  3. Confirmation Bias: We my seek out information that confirms our existing beliefs, leading to further generalizations.
  4. Emotional Responses: Strong emotions such as fear or anger can fuel generalizations as a way to simplify complex emotions.

Ultimately, people generalize people and situations in an effort to keep themselves safe from hurt and pain.

Eventhough, many of us generalize people and experiences as a defense mechanism, the fact is there is not real benefits to generalizing people and experiences. In actuality, when you generalize people and experiences you cause more harm to yourself and others. When we generalize people and experiences we really blur lines of truth and untruth, fact and fiction, reality and delusion.

However, there are some benefits to not generalizing people and experiences. When you avoid generalization it can lead to improved relationships. By focusing on individual characteristics rather than stereotypes, you can build more meaningful connections. Avoiding generalization can lead to increased empathy, as you will see people as unique individuals and develop empathy and understanding. It also leads to better decision-making, and it reduced bias.

In order to move past generalizing people and experiences, your belief/mindset must change. A crucial belief shift to stop generalizing is recognizing that each person and experience is unique. Instead of assuming, approach each encounter with an open mind and a willingness to learn.

My Traveling Friends here are fours key steps to overcoming generalization:

  1. Awareness: Start becoming aware of your own generalizations. Notice when you make assumptions about people or situations.
  2. Challenge Your Beliefs: Question the validity of your generalizations. Ask yourself – Are they based on facts or stereotypes?
  3. Seek Diverse Perspectives: Engage with people from different backgrounds and experiences to broaden your understanding.
  4. Practice Empathy: Put yourself in other’s shoes and strive to understand their individual stories and perspectives.

Generalizing people and experiences is a common cognitive shortcut that can hinder empathy, understanding, and meaningful connections. It is used as a defense mechanism for many people. However, by challenging your beliefs, seeking diverse perspectives, and practicing empathy, you can overcome generalizations and foster a more inclusive and compassionate mindset. Are you ready to take the first step towards a confident and open mindset? If you’re ready to break free from the habit of generalizing and develop a more confident and open mindset, I want to invite you to schedule a consultation call for the Confidence Mindset Program. It is a 1-on-1 coaching program that is designed to help individuals overcome limiting beliefs and embrace a more positive and inclusive worldview.

Go to www.lifeisbutajourney.com to schedule a consultation call today and embark on a journey of personal growth and trasnformation, begin to create a fulfilling life on purpose.

Until Next Time Remember That Life Is But A Journey…

The Lessons of 2023…Looking Back to Move Forward

My Beloved Traveling Friends, I find myself looking back over the year of 2023, and I really wanted to share with you all some of the lessons that I learned from this most transformative year. It is a fact that 2023 was a very emotionally draining, year for me. I found myself in a wilderness seasons, looking back asking myself “How did I get here?” And I noticed that when I asked myself that question, how did I get here questions, I felt so hopeless and lost, I felt broken, and not enough. Guys, this question did not bring me any type of knowledge, this question caused me to feel like a victim. However, I got so tired of feeling like that; of feeling like I did not have any power in the situation. That is when I decided to ask myself a different question, and that was – “What can I learn from this situation to become a better me?”

It was only when I began to look at the ebbs and flows of life through the lens of evolving, instead of being a victim of the situation, that is when I realized that change in the one constant thing in the world, and it’s how I response to that change that creates my life. And with that being said – here are the 5 lessons that I learned from the classroom of 2023:

Lesson 1: Change Is The One Constant Thing In This World – This world is evolving so quickly, people, thing, amd places change all the time. I had to learn how to embrace change in order for me to grow as a person. In the past years, I stayed stuck in certain situations because I did not accept that things had changed. And that stopped me from growing as a person. In this classroom 2023, I knew that I could not stay behind anymore because God gave me a glimpse of my future and not being able to move was not apart of the glimpse. God will call me to move and move quickly, and in order to do that I had to learn how to embrace change because Change Is The One Constant Thing In This World. Remember that like the seasons, life transitions demand adaptation and resilience and this will only happen if you too learn to embrace change.

Lesson 2: What You Focus On Grows – This year really showed me to power of my focus. Guys, our attention is a powerful force, and where we direct our focus determines the energy we attract. Now you guys are probably wondering how did I learn this lesson, and thank you for being so curious. During this year I really paid attention to how I felt and the thoughts that I was thinking when I was feeling a certain way. So, when I felt bad, hopeless, sad, frustrating, or any negative emotion I noticed that I was focusing on something negative. And that negative thought was growing within my body, which was causing me to react instead of responding. And then I had to start looking back over my entire life, and I realized that I planted a lot of negativity and that seed had be bring forth fruit. It could be that in 2023, I was reaping the harvest of some of the negative seed that I sown over the years. So, moving forward I must reframe the story and focus on the positive outcome that is also possible even in the midst of a negative situation. 2023 showed me the potency of focusing on positivity and opportunities, watching them flourish and multiply; after all What You Focus on Grows.

Lesson 3: Everyone and Everything Cannot Go With You – Guys, I truly believe that this lesson was an extermely hard lesson for me to learn because I want everything to stay the same and everyone to come along with me, and it is because I want to stay in a confort zone. However, 2023 showed me that everything and everyone cannot come with me to the next level. There is a season for every person and thing, so I had to really learn that endings are neccessary because there are some elements are better left behind. Letting go is not a sign a weakness but an act of empowerrment because I am making room for new connections and opportunities. Endings are neccessary because – Eveyone and Everything Cannot Go With You…

Lesson 4: Learn To Mind Your Business – Be Quiet – This lesson was an invaluable lesson for me to learn. Learning to stay in your lane, mind your buisness, and be quiet was difficult for me because I always want things and people get along and be at peace. But in doing this I was causing myself unneeded stress becasue I was taking on others people problems instead of allowing those people to figure it out. I realized that I was an enabler instead of a healer. Being in the classroom of 2023, I realized minding my business, staying in my lane, and keeping quiet is a practice of self-care. This practice enables me to nurture my own mind, which allows me to grow on a personal level and fulfill myself. God showed me in 2023 that not everything or everyone is my problem or assignment, and that when He say mind your business and be quiet I must obey. So,yeah – Mind Your Business and Be Quiet…

Lesson 5: Find The Light and Let It Shine – In the midst of life’s challenges, it’s crucial to find and amplify the light that is in the situation. Learning to reframe the story of the situation is what finding the light is all about. When you turn on the light in a dark situation that darkness has to fleet, and 2023 taught me that. The problem is that the darkness can be so scary and it does take courage to find the light and let it shine. Learning this lesson allowed me to illuminate my path and it also becomes a beacon of inspiration for others. Therefore guys, I encourage you all to Find The Light and Let It Shine.

The classroom of 2023 has taught me so many things and every lesson learned this year leads me right back to the biggest lesson of them all – Trust and Be Confident In God, because ultimately He is the One that gives you the ability to accomplish it all. Lessons 1-5 leads me back to putting my faith in God in all situations.

Now those are my lessons, I want to hear from you all – What did 2023 teach you that you will use to evolve in 2024?

If this post has inspired you in any way, I invite you to embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment through the Confidence Mindset Program. The Confidence Mindset Program is a 1-on-1 coaching program that is designed to help individuals foster a profound relationship with oneself, empowers individuals to purposefully create the life they desire.

The Confidence Mindset Program Offers:

  • Personalized 1-on-1 coaching sessions
  • Tailored strategies for self-empowerment
  • Tools to navigate life transitions with confidence
  • A supportive community fostering growth and connection

Seize the opportunity to invest in yourself and make 2024 a year of evolution and purposeful growth and fulfillment. I look foward to joining you on this empowering journey.

Schedule a consultation call today. Click the link to schedule your consultation: http://www.lifeisbutajourney.com

Unitl Next Time Remember That Life Is But A Journey

My Weight Lost Journey: The Why Behind Weight Lost…..

Why am I on this journey? Why are you on your journey? Why is the question that we all Must answer if we want to be successful on a weight lost journey, or any journey. Continue reading “My Weight Lost Journey: The Why Behind Weight Lost…..”

My Weight Lost Journey: My 5k Race Day

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Okay guys, by now I know that you all are waiting to hear how I did on June 18, 2016 (My 5k Race) and the answer to the question is…………I did okay. Continue reading “My Weight Lost Journey: My 5k Race Day”

My Weight Lost Journey: 697 Days-2Years

First let me acknowledge a huge milestone for myself, I have been on my weight lost journey for 2 years now and I am very proud of myself. This journey has been a roller coaster, both emotionally and physically, yet I have been consistently monitoring and tracking my points, and working out. So, congrats to me for making it to 2 years and 1 step closer to my weight lost goal. And now for my workout update, and let me tell you this class was not what I thought at all. Continue reading “My Weight Lost Journey: 697 Days-2Years”

My Weight Loss Journey: 675 Days-1 Year and 343 Days

ZUMBA, ZUMBA, ZUMBA…….. If you have been traveling with me on this journey you would know that I next fitness class for the month was Zumba. And yes I took the class and I was very surprised. Okay let me explain what I mean by I was surprised. Continue reading “My Weight Loss Journey: 675 Days-1 Year and 343 Days”

My Weight Loss Journey: 665 Days-1 Year and 333Days

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Okay guys, welcome to my new home. As I told you all, this year is about stepping out of my comfort zone, and believe me when I say making this change was big step out of my comfort zone, and I have to say that I was able to take that leap because of my weight loss journey. As you can see I have been on this journey for a while now, and I must say that I have been tested, and scared, and push down so many times on this weight loss journey; but I have the strength to continue to get up and continue to move forward. So, before I get into my story I would like to thank you all for your continue support and patience during my transition. Okay, enough of that now time for the nitty gritty-my final hip hop fitness class (what happened?).

My last hip hop fitness class was on Thursday, February 11, 2016, and I and so much fun. I actually learned the moves and I was able to add my own flavor to the moves. The first day I went I just knew that I was going to look a hot mess, and I was right. But I was able to catch on the moves quickly-but I stilled looked a mess. The second class I was less nervous, and the women in the group actually stared to talk to me; so I was becoming a part of the group. By the third class, I felt like a pro and that I belonged in the class. I was so comfortable in the class that I took picture of myself. Not only did I feel comfortable, but I was looking forward to the class on Thursday because that class was like my little get away from the stress of the world. And then the fourth class came I was happy and sad all at the same time. I was happy because I did not quit because of my fears and I was sad because it was the last class. During this class I noticed that I was really confident in myself, and even when I messed up (and I did) I did not feel like I was a hot mess; I stop watched and jumped right back into it.

So, what did I learn from attending the hip hop fitness class (taking a leap and doing something new)? I learned that walking by faith can feel scary, but my God did not give me a spirit of fear, but once you actually take that first step by faith that the fear will go. I also learn that I can do anything that I put my mind to, and that it is okay to be myself.  The first class that I attended I tried to dance just like to instructor of the class, but as I continued to go to the class I began to be myself. And when I was just me I had more fun in the class, then when I was trying to imitate the instructor. I learned that I just have to continue to move forward and not look back. Even though I am a little sad that I am not going to the hip hop fitness class anymore, I am so excited to attend my next fitness class-ZUMBA…..

Weight loss is a journey that is ever changing, and that somethings on this journey I can control but somethings may fall out of my control and that is okay. As long as I continue to move forward I will reach my weight loss goal (life goals). Please continue to travel with me on this up and down journey, as I continue to step out of my comfort zone. Please share your own personal journey. Until next time keep moving forward…….

Please check out Shop JAccessories to buy some cute bracelets. And please visit my booster page to help me bring awareness to obesity and the effects of obesity.

My Weight Lost Journey: Day 422-1 year and 57 days

I have been on my weight lost journey for little over 1 year now, and I must say there have been a lot of ups and downs, and some eye opening moments. And all of the ups and downs and eye opening moments have helped me to begin to understand and love my body. So, of course I have to share some of the frustrations that I have encountered while on this journey, because I don’t want people to believe that it is an easy journey I want to be real with everyone that reads my blog.

Soooooo, I will start from day 1; the day I made the decision to walk into Weight Watchers and start the journey. I was so depressed and I knew I needed to change my lifestyle but all I heard (in my mind) was that it was not going to work and this would be a waste of my money. But I walked into the meeting and began my journey. A month into the journey the weight was just coming off with little activity, I was just doing what I was told to do. But as the days turned into months it began to get harder for the weight to come off, and I could not figure out why. I start working out more, but I also began to go over on my allotted points and guess what, the weight began to come back. So, I began to get mad at myself (because I was over eating) and I was mad at the program because I did not think it was working. But I continue to go to the meetings and track what I was eating. While I was tracking I began to notice that I was a late night snacker and that I had to get that under control if I was going to continue to lose weight. I cut  out certain foods and I worked out 6 days a week, and still  I was gaining weight. As the weight continue to come back, in spite of what I was doing, I began to get more frustrated. But I continued to go to the meetings and track what I was eating, in spite of my frustrations. And then one day I woke up (mentally) and made the decision to stop snacking at night. Once I made that decision I began to see it on the scale, but I don’t get too excited because I have learned that I need to stay focus on the overall goal and not just the short term goal that was accomplished. Now some of you may say that I should celebrate, but the reason why I don’t do it too big when a short term goal is met is because I go over board with it and then the achieved goal is null and void because I gained the weight back. Let me try to explain what I mean about me going over board.

I have learned, while on this journey, that I really can’t just eat whatever I want when I want because I will gain weight. Which is so frustrating because I want to be able to eat a cheese burger and ice cream (regular ice cream) and not gain weight. But during this journey when I have met a goal weight that I set for myself I would get soooo happy and tell myself that it is okay to have the ice cream and cookies (but I would have 2 bowels instead of 1 bowel) and then I would get weighted in at Weight Watchers and I would up a 1 lb or 3 lbs, and shame, angry, and frustration would come-then negative mind talk would happen-then the cycle would continue. See-overboard….

Losing weight can be sooooo frustrating because there are ups and downs, and at times there can be more downs then ups but you have to make up in your mind to continue to make the right choices (working out, being active, and making health food choices) and the weight will come off. But during the tough times( the downs) you have to be able to motive yourself, so I would suggest finding some positive quotes and putting them up where you will be sure the see them, and look at them daily. My faith in God kept me moving forward (staying active, working out 6 days a week, being mindful of what I eat) during the time when the weight was coming back. I am not out of the woods yet, but I have gain more clarity on why I ended up over weight in the first place and I am willing to work through them to reach my weight lost goal. Until next time…..