Hey guys. I know that it has been a while, a long while, since I lasted updated you all on my progress. Please forgive me for my delay, but you all know that life happens, and that is pretty much what has been happening-LIFE… Nevertheless, I am still on my weight lost journey in spite of life happening to me. So, what’s been up you may ask? How is everything going-are you still working out and losing weight? And my answer to that is yes and no. So, let me try to explain what I mean (this is so hard for me right now but I know my brokenness will help someone).
Earlier this year I was laid off from my job, so the household income decreased significantly. Because of the decrease I found my self making some very tough decisions, and one of those decision was to discontinue my membership with Weight Watcher’s. Even though I discontinued my membership with Weight Watcher’s my personal weight lost goal never changed (I was and am still very committed to losing this weight and being healthy) so I continued to do the things that I was taught at Weight Watcher’s. And I was losing weight. So, I thought it would be easy, right? Wrong. The weight began to come back slowly, and I started to get discouraged because I had come so far and I did not understand what I was doing wrong. I began to feel so ashamed of my self, because here I am writing about losing weight and how through hard work and determination you can lose the weight; but I am gaining weight. I felt like a total failure and I noticed that depression started to creep back in. However, I heard the Lord speak to me about my weight lost, and He told me that I need to find out what my key issue is because it is not food. Food is something that I am using to try to fix my key issue, but food can not fix it. So, of course you all know that I am totally confused right because if food is not my key issue (someone who is over weight) then I don’t know what is.
So, I did what I was lead to do and that was to seek the Lord about my weight lost. Even though it looks like a waste of time to some (because I am gaining weight) I have to do what the Lord is leading me to do, so I continue to work out and to try to make better choices in food (notice my key word try, because I didn’t always make the best choices). I must say that this is one of the hardest things that I have done-being transparent about my shortcomings and failures. I have always been told that I have to be the best in all that I do, so for me to be failing in this area is really discouraging for me. Moving on, sooooooooo, you may be thinking then what exactly is the problem (the key issue), and the Lord told me that I don’t believe that I deserve to loss weight-I don’t believe that I am worthy. And when He told me that my heart began to break. I then asked the Lord why don’t I believe that I deserve to loss the weight, and His reply to me was a lack of knowledge so I need to seek Him and He will guide my way.
The Lord then lead me to a scripture that I have been meditating on every day, 3 John 2. God wants His children to be healthy (to be in good health) but our souls have to prosper in order for this to happen. We need (I need) God’s word to give us (me) wisdom which will prosper our (my) souls. So, the way I see it, I can do all of the worldly things in order to lose weight, or I can trust God to lead me in the right direction concerning my health. If you have been told something over and over and over again you will believe that is how it is or that is how you are to be. But God’s word tells me different. He chose me before I was even born, so He knew that I would have this struggle and He has prepared a way out for me already. My hearts desire is to weight 180lbs but my soul does not believe that YET. As I am typing this I am crying, because I know there are so many people out there struggling with the same issue and feeling lost and unworthy-feeling alone and forgotten-feeling ugly and ashamed. But I am here to tell you through my own personal story that you don’t have to feel that way and that you are not alone.
The Lord may lead me back to Weight Watcher’s but for now he has been dealing with my key issues that have been causing me to gain weight, and that will cause me to gain weight if I do return to Weight Watcher’s. I really want to loss the weight and keep it off. I sincerely want my journey, my ups and downs, my right and wrong helps someone reach their goals. Because no one should have to go through what I am going through-plus Jesus died on the cross so we don’t have to go through it.
So, I am still on this journey and I am learning a lot about myself. I am committed to losing this weight because God said that I am healed from OBESISTY, and I am. Please share your own story or give advise. Also check out my shop page and scroll through my paracord and charm bracelets. Please know that I am sooooo blessed by just sharing my journey with you all, so Until Next Time…… Life Is But A Journey.