Category: fearful

Well, I must say that this year (2015) was very different from last year (2014) as it brought a lot of challenges and changes, and every challenge and change that I faced this year affected my weight lost journey. I remember when I started this journey, I was scared, nervous, and excited all at one time. And as I followed the Weight Watcher’s process given to the participants I lost weight quickly and it was very easy. I had some challenges and changes that came up, but I still lost weight.  And at the end of 2014 I went to get my yearly physical, and this year I was soooooo excited to go to the doctor because I could not wait for the midwife to see my weight lost progress. Last year I was in a place of euphoria as it concerned my weight lost journey. I was focused on getting to a healthy weight and the weight was coming off easily. I felt like a million bucks. Now fast forward to 2015, (and I know that you are wondering what happened did you gain all of the weight back?) and the answer is no, not all; but I felt like I had the process down pack, and I started to say to myself I got this and if I have 2 cookies that will not hurt, and for the most part it did not. But what I do believe happened, that hurt me later on in the journey, was that I began to tell myself that I got this, I already know what do to now so I don’t have to go to every weight watcher’s meeting. And when I began to tell myself this I noticed that I would gain 2lbs the next time I went to a meeting, after the meeting I would be focus and energized ready to dust the dirty off and get back up and work the process correctly. But my mind would say, you work out 5 days a week you can have a piece or cake (but that piece of cake would turn into 2 pieces). Soooooo, I know that you are still wondering what happened? I got a little prideful and everyone knows that pride comes before the fall. The more I told myself that I can eat this or that, or that I got this, I would over eat and gain weight at my next weight in. The challenge that I faced in 2015 that I didn’t face in 2014 was overcoming a spirit of pride. And its because of that pride that I have gain weight this year instead of losing causing me to take steps back instead of forward with my weight lost journey.

The next major challenge that I faced, which I did not really realize until I began to look back, was the fear of the physical change of my body. I know you guys are say what are you talking about, how can you be afraid to change your physical appearance? And my answer would be I have been this way all of my life, heavy, so there is a fear of the unknown. During 2015 I would ask myself, during quiet times of my day, how will it be when I reach my weight lost goal? What am I going to do with all my clothes? How will be view me? Who would I be once I reach my weight lost goal? Every question that I asked myself came from fear. God says that I am to prosper in my health even as my soul prospers; meaning that He wants me healthy and prospering in my life not just standing still in the same place. But because of fear I unconsciously began to do things that would cause me to gain weight-becoming prideful. BUT every challenged that I faced last year started in my own mind. God tells us that His thoughts are not our thoughts because His thoughts are to prosper us, so the negative thoughts that I was having was not of God and yet I decided to take them into my heart, and the result was leading me to death.  

The other thing that I said 2015 brought me was changes, and there have been many of them. Some good changes and some bad changes, but they all affected my weight lost journey. Well, let me try to explain what I mean. Good changes in my life usually caused me to stay focus on losing weight, I followed the Weight Watcher’s process and my weight would come down. But the bad changes brought unhealthy stress in my life and I would make not so healthy choices and I would gain weight. The one thing that changed in my life and it really affected my weight lost was the company that I am currently working for (the company that I have worked at for 10+ years) is closing and I am now looking for another job. When I was informed of the closing of the company I was devastated, and the stress of knowing that I now have to find a new job made me want to eat and eat and eat… I wanted to eat every sweet type of food (cakes, cookies, ice cream, pies, etc.) that I could get my hands on. And as a matter of fact that is just what I did. Even though I was eating all types of sweets I still continued to go to my Weight Watcher’s meeting, and I was gaining weight. And as I gained weight I would get sadder, madder, frustrated, and more disappointed in myself because I was failing yet again at losing weight (at least that is what I told myself). In total I have gained 6lbs, and I end 2015 weighting 228lbs.

Now, you may ask me, well what did you learn? And I would say that I have learned that the mind is the key to any weight lost journey (any journey in life) because this is the place that every good or bad thought enters and where decisions are made.  I realized that I have to remain humble and thankful for accomplishment that I achieve. I learn this year that I really don’t know anything, and that I must remain focus and humble-open to processes and procedures that move me forward. I also have to realize and understand that bad things happen, change comes, jobs are lost, and stress is in this world which means that I have to learn how to remain focus and mentally strong and aware. I have to be mindful of negative thoughts that will try to creep into my mind so I can choose not to take them but to focus on the positive. Every journey has ups and downs, good times and bad, and difficulties that we have to face, but positivity is the only thing that can and will remove negativity. And I also learned that I am not failing a losing weight as long as I continue to get up and continue to take steps forward. Sooooooo, in 2016 I have to surround myself with positivity so when the bad times come (because they will) I will have a strong spiritual army in my heart and I will be able to fight back and have what God says that I am to have. 

I hope this year (2015) you all learn something new about yourself that will help you grow to be the person that God made you to be. I know that I have learned something new about myself this year, and this new piece of wisdom will help me do better in 2016. I also hope that my story is helping to motivate you all to stay strong, look to God, and achieve what you were born to achieve. 2015 was a hard year for this whole world but it has made us stronger, and I hope to see you all in 2016. The journey continues, until next time………..

**Hey guys, please visit my health awareness page to help me raise money to bring more awareness to a growing condition-Obesity. I have a booster page link in my health awareness page, so please check it out. Thanks…..**